I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ W.E. Henley

The Best Outfit To Be Drunk In

No, not really drunk Drunk, just drunk-ish.  So you decide to treat yourself with some booze after the whirlwind of mind fucks you had gone through be it at work, school or at home.  Having considered the place you will go to and the crowd you will be with, it now boils down to how safe and secure you will be in your outfit.
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OUTFIT. Let say you will go clubbing, do yourself a favor and show one asset at a time, lest you be mistaken for the cigarette promo girls.  Show legs, show boobies, but not all at once.  Slut is a harsh, stingy word, you don't want that.  If you like wearing those stringy undies then skip this next sentence.  I love mini dresses and skirts, but I detest the airy feel down there, so I have a habit of wearing boylegs; I feel secure that way.  Do yourself a favor and smack hard every peeping tom too!

SHOES.  How drunk you intend to be determines how high your shoes ought to be.  Your feet and ankles are way more precious than you give them credit for.  Avoid stilettos and anything else that resembles a deadly weapon instead of a goddamn shoe!

MAKEUP.  And to top it all wear shine proof, water proof, and if you can find it, sweat proof makeup.  You are supposed to peg the look at sultry and smokey not a burnt survivor of a three-alarm fire.  One last thing, stack on some rings just in case you get mixed into a bar fight.

 

Again take note, rape proof clothes, shoes you can stand and run on, a face that says parteeyy, and some self defense blings that will get you past the bouncer.  This goes without saying: "Drink responsibly" ;)