Mama turned 48 last Jan. 2.  She intended for the whole day to be spent getting her pampering done at ForeverFlawless but ended up postponing her indulgence for the next day because my Titos and Titas all insisted they come over and bring food to celebrate.

As expected my Papa, with his usual misplaced gallantry, ordered via radio communication a yummy chocolate cake designed with icing personalized dedication from a service provider for that sweet/chivalric effect.  Now this may all seem so mushy to many women, but my Mom is different.  She was not giddy about my Dad's gesture.  Although she did really appreciate the effort, however any excitement would die down especially when we all know how much that simple cake and ice cream costs.  Think X4 or maybe almost X5 the price of those when bought here.  

Ma and I are just about the same when it comes to romance.  We just want our men to keep it simple but real.  

do you know that the light of the night can be traced millions of years back?


do you know that the sounds of fireworks had been sounds from a few seconds back?


the thing is ive forgotten what i was like a few years back


i used to think that i could care less


i used to say time heals everything


i used to feel like im stuck at being 16 yrs old


i used to think you could stop feeling something if you just will it


there were a thousand things i was before, come to think of it, when did i turn my back?


when? why? how come?


today ive found bits of pieces.. fragments that compose a whole.


shatters of who i was of which i know only i can put back whole.


would you give me time?


would you pick me up?


would you lend me a hand or would you rather that i do this on my own?


sometimes we do forget, but rarely do we seek what we forgot


this stiching would be a long one.. but i know i will be whole


again i will be whole


p.s. I wrote this poem May 3 2007 on the brink of ending an unhealthy relationship

KISSING 2009 GOODBYE

2008

... This was a year of reflections and self discoveries. I had spent most of this year looking deep into myself, of what I really want from life; my aspirations; who I want to be and how I wanted to see and project persona.

I knew a little about me and my quirks through the little travels I made with family and friends. I allowed myself to enjoy the immersion in new places and reflect.

Indulgence would be the perfect word to describe how this year was for me. I indulged in the opportunities revealed to me by circumstances. I embraced the curiosity for higher learning by enrolling in law school without any inclination of the difficult journey looming.

I thank the Almighty for my experiences and for the revelations I encountered this year. At least I had learned.

Looking back I think I have gone a notch higher than I had been before. This year I felt the BIG DIFFERENCE of trying to know who you are and rediscovering your lost self all over again.

2009

Ahhhh... I felt so busy through out the year that passed. I always felt that I had so much to do yet, I do not have a list of these things having been done. I got exhausted even before I started doing anything at all.

I remember this year as a time of self doubts and procrastination. Motivation was hard to come by. There was no fuel to fire me up to do great things. I did not find motivation this year, or if I did, I lost it.

I was wallowing in stagnant water, not moving, not drowning but was still and afloat. Despite the lack of significant improvement, there is still something worth reckoning for 2009. I dub it "Materialistic 2009" evidenced by the number of materials blessings I have enjoyed. My Blackberry, HPmini, girly caprices; oh just to name a few.''

I end this year with the hope for a better and a more fulfilling 2010. It is TWO-OH-TEN after all...

in fear of flight, i close my eyes
in fear of flight, i dig at my pockets
in fear of flight, i clench my fists
in fear of flight, my heart flutters

in fear of flight, i deeply breathe in fear of flight, i look up to the sky of blue and black, of stars and moon, of sun and clouds so cheerfully calling and patiently waiting for my kiss

in fear of flight, i look down with remorse, dig my heels to the ground and push at the stones

in fear of flight, i tremble
in fear of flight, i cry for times lost

in fear of flight, i stare blank at others soaring high, wishing instead i see my eyes in them
in fear of flight, i doze the fire in me that wants to conquer the skies
in fear of flight, i turn blue from the cold
in fear of flight, i might be left all alone

i fear of flying, soaring and yet i dream i am ruling this all

In this time, man is destined to fly, yet why am i so afraid of flight?