As a general rule, a woman is an apple to everyone's eyes.  We bring sunshine to the gloomy, excitement to the bored and liven up just about anything.  However, our species aren't perfect.  Flaws are sometimes extrinsic, but are usually dangerously bottled up inside too.  I'm writing this as a fair warning to all those who love the company of women.  Beware of these three!

Sad Little Girl

They are gloomy and most likely loners.  Why?  Because they talk about their problems too much and never really making mention of how to solve or over come them.  Suicidal?  Most likely!

Why should you be aware?  If you have someone like this hanging around you, their tendency is to stick with you and pester you.  So unless your a shrink, it would be best to keep distance or they will follow you around relentlessly.  Imba stalking abilities!  Needy bitch I tell you.

Example: Your local emo girl!

Crazy Bitch

This one's a meanie.  They snap poof! just like that.  One moment she's the sweetest, then in a blink of an eye, she screams and suddenly transforms into a level of rage only tranquilizers can extinguish.  Everything she touches while consumed by anger will be beaten down to a pulp.  Wear protective gear if an encounter with this kind would be unavoidable.

They can lose all reason, case on point are the many crimes of passion recorded in any court.  Murder is a natural instinct, so its either you oblige or you flee.  Remember that movie Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct?  They are the same!

Example:  Your foul mouthed neighbor shrieking at 7 in the morning.

The Bitch from Hell

Careful coz they seem normal.  Highly intellectual, calculating and efficiently manipulative.  They make you do things you wont normally do.  They act with impunity in high heels and a smile.  Inside their minds are intricate blueprints for the next 20 years.  Believe me, you dont want to get in the way of her scheme of things.  You will get trampled on and get burned!  They get to the top and at the top they intend to remain.

Example: That highly decorated classmate who always ask you about your exam scores.

My mantra when I have encounters with these women is simple.  Remain cool and composed as my usual self and practice maximum tolerance at all cost!  Dont get in their way but when in right always stand your ground.  Every girl has claws! They dont call it cat fight for nothing.

p.s.  This was a product of me and my brothers observation based on what we see on T.V.  I would love to drop names, but that would be cruel! ahahha

August has passed, whew!! I hate to say it but the past month had been mostly a showcase of disappointments and distractions and how badly I had managed my disposition during those crises.  Yes crises, as in multiple problems had emerged ganging up on me like crazy.  Remember that cliché about wrong decisions having a domino effect?  That was exactly how August went on for me.  It was as if fate decided to give me a series of armor piercing tests just to mess me up.  

So far, August holds the record for the most fuck ups I did this year.  Made me realize that I am weak against my impulses and that if I dont practice discipline soon, I fear I will become self loathing.  

I am not a person who dwells on the what might have beens. I have no regrets, but I dread that the day will come when I look at the mirror all I will see is a woman who could have been.

Happy August moments

Basty's 3rd Bday

Liz's 25th Bday

I dont want to dwell on the sad parts that happened.  I only pray that we all get to move on and great September with a renewed hope that everything will be alright.

August was a such a month full of extreme emotions. Ecstasy and misery almost just hours from each other. Im moving on to a brighter month having known more of myself because of the past months lost battles.  Though faltered, I still stand.

Spolarium by Juan Luna

I am in outrage!  How many more tragedies do we have to suffer and take part of to realize that we have fucked up as a country?  How many dead bodies do we need to count in order for us to take charge of our nation?  How many more of these ridicules could we stomach?  

The Filipinos I know are the kind who will fight to the death just to protect their own.  But just like a wild horse, we have been broken, our wild hearts had been tamed to conform to too many a conquerors whims.  We lost our identity a long long time ago, sad to say until now we have never regained it back.  For centuries we were taught to be envious and insecure, perfectly brainwashed to believe that we were only second best.  

The Spaniards, Americans and Japanese all treated us like dogs.  And so "independence" we gained.  We are no longer under foreign rule, but why do I still feel the leash on my neck?  It is because we are repeating the cycle of hate, this time the infliction is upon our own blood.  Having been treated inferior for a long time caused us to recoup by wanting to be the master and superior this time and since we are still weak to take on others, we resulted to taking the nearest Filipino down.  

This is how it is with us now.  I see it, I live it and it sucks to know we are really going to be it.  By "it" I meant a whole country dedicated to destroying itself my gnawing at its own wound, never allowing it to heal.  We are infected by disease and its time to seek for the cure.  Let us all heal from the oppressions we had to suffer, please let us truly rebuild our nation.


p.s Winning the Miss Universe crown is not going to be redeeming in any way.. 

I'm a beauty blogger for the obvious reason that I love make up especially that particular art of putting on the beauty stuff on my face.  However, this past month I could'nt seem to find time to prep my face up, nor have I exuded my flamboyance in my recent outfits to school.  Sigh!  I fear I'm turning gray!  


In life one would always, at least at one point, reach a divergent road.  Here you have to choose only one path to take.  For now, I can't mix my vibrant and carefree self with the need to focus on a tough dream I'm determined to realize.  I can't be an attorney at law when my current traits show I'm more of an attorney at lol.


All I'm saying is I need to mellow down, I guess.  Hmm maybe once a week I can commit to playing my usual bouncy self and be the sunshine that I am to everyone.  


But wait!  I still wear a hint of makeup, though I'm now reduced to just mascara, lipbalm, blush, and filling in my brows.  Yup!  No more powder, eyeliner, eyeshadow, etc.  coz it takes soo damn long to put it together! I'm way behind my readings :(

my boring staples

brows: fullerlife eyebrow pencil

mascara: maybelline magnum

lips: maybelline lipbalm in cherry

Boy, light my fire

Drag my sweetness

Into the crevices of your lungs

Inhale my intoxicating scent

Blow out the dust from my heart

And only then could I wish

That I'd be like the nicotine

In that cigarette you're smoking

That sticks to your system

Corrupts you and gets you

Insatiably addicted to

~ by yours truly~

vector art by Alexandra Lorenzana

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/damnvixen

Focus according to dictionary.com has 9 different meanings. What i particularly like is when focus is used as a verb, it would mean to concentrate. hmmm such a common word Focus is, yet when I get to encounter the chance to get to know it, I get swallowed by my BFF Lazy. Lazy, another word I so love oh too much. Unlike Focus, I dont have to look into a dictionary to know what it means. Ive lived with Lazy all my 22 or so years. Wow! I amaze myself with the way im personifying blant words.. hehehe lokaret jud.. Point is im loosing focus. No, actually Ive never had it from the beginning.

What did I learn while in law school? I learned that Im Lazy, a selective reader, and I that I embrace distractions all so willingly. Everyday since day 1 of school, Ive been bombarded with so many cases and books to read. Oh I read alright, but I dont comprehend or even if I do, they all get charged to my short term memory, and its span is only about 24 hours. All gets so blurry thereafter.

I remember why I wanted to study law, coz I want to out do myself. I wanna turn my back to Lazy, shes so fun and welcoming. Distraction is such a doll, he gives me so many exciting things to do. Focus on the other hand is boring, and painful..

I need to revamp mylife, tell me how do you focus? hays I need help..

i love this poem, since i read it when i was in grade school...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I just got my tshirt from the presidentof our class. I got it late, its supposed to be worn for intramurals to represent the law department, anyway intrams bores me, so its ok.. Funny how the print says "Pain Has a Purpose". Makes me think of all the pains i went through. Some of which still feels sore, some are just distant memories, some i shudder remembering. I do agree that pain does have a purpose, its just that we often times dwell too much on the hurt and suffering it brings. The anguish, sorrow, tears, sleepless nights, and trauma these pains bring make us not want to be in the same disposition ever again. Question, do we get the purpose? I think not. There is so many songs, poems, art and etc. that express the pain the artists feel, but rarely do you hear or see a contemplation or an understanding of that pain. I personally havent seen anyone in gratitude for the pain while in pain. Oh maybe physical pain being welcomed(self inflicted or otherwise) but welcoming the pain is different from understanding and accepting why it happens. But no one in their right mind would choose to be in pain, i mean do u? Ive welcomed pain but i didnt really understand fully or if given a more beneficial choice I wouldnt choose pain. Im thinking, I should post this phrase in my room, noh? It should be a reminder that though I might be in pain, this has a purpose? The question is, is the pain for better or for worse? I guess I'll have to find out after the pain subsides.

Hmmm lemme list my current pains and evaluate which of them I seems to bring a good purpose. In no particular order and category:

• not sleeping 8hrs a day
• the long list of cases i have to read AND understand
• my tight panties
• my hagard look (its a pain for women u know)
• migraine (pota tlga to)
• pressure to pass a 75% passing rate (hayoooop!!!!!!!)
• a complicated love life (fling lang)
• lvl 48 pa rin ang character ko sa RF
• no income
• wlang boylet (frustrated sexlife hahahha)

For now this is the list i can come up with.. I dont think there's anything too painful here, noh? Im thankful I dont have that many pains and its not at all seeping and tearing me apart. Mai purpose ba lahat? How bout the sexlife thingy? hahahhaha Thank you Lord, mahal mo tlga ako.. Try it, list down ur pains, maybe ull see or atleast understand its purpose..

Again im facing the neverending battle between me and myself.. Its always been like this, even way before I knew this is a war all of us really face on a daily basis. Me against me, isabeau vs isabeau.. Will I ever win, and if i do who is deemed victorious? GAGA!! eh di ikaw pa rin.. hayss me and my gaganess.. Its the usual evil side vs good side, i think.. hehehe But sometimes i dont know who's side im in, both of them are parts of me so inherent to who i am.. if one looses, half of me looses right? So technically its a draw? Why do i have to over analyse things, huh? me and my brain, so full of crap.. hahhaha But what am I aiming for in fighting myself, or in accepting this inner war? I hope to be in full control of who I am, no when to cast the evil me and good me.. Control is key in self actualization.. hayss words i say, i dont even understand sometimes.. why is happiness so, so distant? and i leave with that question.. good luck to everyones fight.

Well Im back to playing massive multiplayer online role playing games (MMORPG). I got crazy about World of Warcraft about 2 yrs ago just before I graduated. Now my time is eaten up by RFonline.. Really cool game. You might want to check the game out if thats your things also. The site is www.rfonline.ph this will direct you to the official game for philippine players. The game is made possible for filipinos thru LevelUp. The same company that brought Ragnarok here in the country also.

Since Im going back to an academic life again, I think I wont be able to waste my time as much as I want to. But hopefully I could still make time for nonesense.. hahhahah

This is a late announcement since I got the results last week monday pa.. Im happy to say that I passed the USC Law School entrance exam at 69% equivalent to high average, passing rate is 40%..Damn!! that was one difficult exam indeed. 3 long hours of twisting my brain and straining my eyes..weeeeeeee hehehhehe..

Im not built to become a Lawyer. I have no study habits I am far from being organized and I have too many distractions. But as my HS principal once told me: your competition is your own self, in everything you do, all it takes is to beat yourself and be the best. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.. matod pa ni Ms. Seville.. hehehhe

Hell its late!! Yet still Im up.. After watching the long line of prime time shows, I hang out in my room and did a once-in-a-bluemoon-tidying (if thats how its spelled). Discarded super old makeups, that I never really got to use much; frowned on the fortune I wasted in super priced beauty regimens that promised everything but did so little for me; smiled on my collection of bags, which reminds me to add more to it (grrr money again!). Most noteworthy was the nostalgia I felt when I discovered some high school memorabilia. I browsed through the certificate of appreciation, attendance, and participation. I felt once more the beaming pride I had when I read the thank you notes given to me when I was a student teacher for a few days way back then.

Oh how happy and carefree I was back then, so as we mostly were I think. I can almost smell the cooking classes we had, feel again the haughtiness and rebellious anger. All of them although a little long ago, was still so fresh to me and as always had been the best time of my life. As I look back from where I am now, I wonder where have these faces in my high school yearbook gone to? How are they doing? Interestingly, did they become the person/professional they wrote here to be? Its funny to see that I wrote in the yearbook I wanted to be a CPA. Well I did graduate knowing the accounting principles, but the wind has changed. I dont want to count money I do not own..

As I read on, I silently congratulated the faces who were consistent with what they initially wanted. I was a bit saddened by knowing some were never able to realize their dream, some needed to stop pursuing it, others didnt have the heart to start it. Me? I am just thankful that at least I made it halfway, and now, though I wont continue that CPA crown, I am still aiming and dreaming for something to achieve. Still pursuing and still wanting to realize it.

I offer a silent prayer, that all of us who dream and aspire may reach it no matter how many crossroads we might encounter. I pray that whatever direction we choose, we would still be blessed by the will, strength and the intense passion to travel the heights.

March 8 2008

This is the last day I call myself a WaMu banker and a PS e-Rep. A year and a half or so have passed, such a short time really, but as I look back on the experience, I shudder with for thrill of the months that had expired. With that little time, I would never have thought of the great change it had brought me.

I started off as a distant dreamer, I never really believed in a career path. I chose the company on a first come first serve basis. PS was the one who called first, all the rest were too late. Still I didnt care what I will do just give me a job and ill do as u like, as a passive me have always been. I learned with out that much of an effort, just like how school was for me. I just learn fast thats all. For the longest time Ive always been the great ingrate for always missing the effort and most of the time showing off discounted bests. Nonetheless, I liked it there, I dont know why but something triggered my dead motivation and absent inspiration.

Without really giving it much notice or thought, I saw a new me, in an image so different, from what I had always painted. Little by little I sensed the bud of thrill from learning. Friendships are out of the question, as much as I hate a monotonous feeling is how I adore building social networks. I opened up to people as usual for me as the day comes. Special closeness were for characters so different from who I was. To teammates, supervisors and TMs, all of you have had a hand in molding me.

As I close this chapter of a beginning I had started not so long ago, I bear with me a beaming pride brought by the millions of calls I had to take, the callers I had to please and the thought that for all the time I had spent it had been the first time I forgot the experience was for me. Learning in its most true sense was the prize I won and a prize I will continue to pursue from now on.